Carpe diem

Heartbroken....

2008-11-27T00:07:00.002+08:00

I have been feeling very down these few days.

Been arguing with him very often for the past 2 weeks. Everytime we argue the feeling is like... I don't know how to describe it. It's as though someone had used something to pierce through my heart. I just feel so heartbroken.

The tears just roll down my cheek as though their free. Well, they're free anyway. I really couldn't hold back my tears. And i guess i had never cried so much in my life at one go before.

We just had a long talk... And now he is sleeping and i am here blogging because i don't know who to talk to. I have no one to talk to about my problems. I have to keep them all to myself, i feel so awful, as though i am being bullied big time.

I wished that i had not said anything to him. I would rather keep them to myself like i always do.

I want to type a very long entry but no words can describe my feeling now. Loss of words.

Does he knows that i really love him alot? Or he thinks that i don't love him that much like he always say?

I don't know.......

Yay.. Hooted!!

2008-04-07T02:22:00.006+08:00

And now......

I got myself a Damier Speedy 30! I figured out that a Damier will be better for me because i don't really take care of my bags and Mini Lin are made of cloth. Though i love the speedy in Mini Lin!

Damage: $1020
Plus a rebate of 2 * $40 DFS voucher for making payment with Mastercard.

Yay... I love Damier. They don't get dirty they don't age!

I'm lemming for this Miu Miu bag...... VERY BADLY!

(picture credits to Beverly of tPF)

Miu Miu Bow Satchel in Smoked Grey.

However i can't find it in local boutiques anymore. This colour is from last season.

Now is this good or bad news.. hahaha

Happy Girl!

2008-03-18T23:53:00.006+08:00

The picture says it all.....

Damage: $1130 and $210.

New bag from LV. Been lemming for this bag for the longest time. Finally got it!

New shades from Miu Miu. Though this is not the pair that i wanted initially, but it's a similiar design. The pair i wanted was white in colour and Sunny forgotten to reserve it for me. :(

Happy!!!

14 days into my quit smoking campaign....

A change in my life

2008-03-07T03:27:00.005+08:00

I have finally decided that i should....

Quit Smoking

Yes, after being a smoker for like 10years. I had finally decided that it's time to quit.

I don't know why i suddenly want to quit. But it just struck my mind 2 days back when i'm going to finish my pack of cig. I told myself, this gonna be my last packet of cig.

It has been 48 hrs since i last smoked. And yes, it will last! (Hopefully)

Anyway! My room is finally done.

Before

After

Now my room is so spacious! I love it. My friends can sit on the floor when they come over now! Last time they don't even have space to sit down!

Emo....

2008-02-23T17:45:00.003+08:00

Feeling emo....

Lotsa things running in my mind now, i want to tell ppl but i can't seem to find the right words and i don't know how to start.

Yesterday when i was playing mj, my mum called me.

She said, "ah niu(referring to guan yin) said you got alot of xin shi and kan bu kai. Why you got alot of xin shi? Why kan bu kai? What you thinking?"

I kept quiet for a few seconds, then i said "aiya nothing la. Talk tomorrow i'm playing mj now."

I kind of freaked out when i heard that because how come she knows that i am not feeling happy. I didn't even go down and why she will mention about me?

I am looking for another full time job now. Going to quit my part time job. I don't know if i can handle it. 2 full time jobs + school. Wow hectic but no choice, my expenses are really very high.

I did a rough count of my expenses per month for the bills part.

School fees - $500
Maxonline + Cable tv - $160
Mobile - $60
Installment 1 - $256
Installment 2 - $167
Installment 3 - $122
Mum's mobile - $40
Utilities - $120

This is the amount i have to pay for all my bills. Feeling kinda stressed up. I'm afraid that one day i will run out of money and can't pay my bills. You know when you missed one month's payment and let it snowball it will make you even harder to repay.

And the amount above does not include my daily expenses yet! I have to eat, smoke, shop, buy cosmetics and skincare!

Or maybe i brought it upon myself. I can quit smoking which means i am like $300 richer per month. I can stop buying expensive stuffs. I can stop eating expensive stuffs. Ya right.. easier said than done. I'm useless i can't quit all these.

But how can one be happy if you don't pamper yourself by buying stuffs that you like?

If you don't need to worry about your bills, school fees or expenses.. Lucky you! I'm so envious of those whom don't need to worry about all these.

I did tried to get help from my dad... I know that all along his wife(not my mum) always don't allow him to help me. She will threaten to divorce him if he do so.

So i tried my luck, i asked him for one last time. I called him that day told him i'm going back to school soon ask him if he can help me pay a little bit for my school fees because i don't think i can handle it..

Guess what he said.

(something like that)

"Ah yi(referring to his wife) don't let me do so la.. You spend lesser will be able to pay.. If i help u pay she will be unhappy"

I broke into tears when i heard this. I cried not because i know i have to pay my own fees. But because i just feel that, whenever a child has a problem the child will turn to their family members isn't it? I thought there is this saying, your family members will never leave you in the lurch isn't it? Can someone tell me how true is this saying?

My mum.. well, if she doesn't ask me for additional money i'll be more than happy.

Sigh..
Looking forward to a better tomorrow.

Random Stuffs

2008-02-02T07:44:00.001+08:00

3 drunkards at Serangoon Gardens.

Half-done room.

Good stuffs! Instant radiant to my eyes and skin.

QAD's aka Qing Ai De Davis Bday Jan 5

BKK Trip

Reward for working hard in Year 2007

Results of doing up the damn dumbo ikea shelve. Swollen hands :(

Jay Chou World Tour 2008

My birthday 2007

Xmas eve 2007

Hahaha I SO LOVE THIS PIC! I was actually smiling but then i saw her staring at the camera so i stared at her instead LOL

My xmas theme nails. I love love love this.

Xmas gifts for my loves

LOOK SAYANG TUDI! CALL ME PRO :)

2008-02-01T01:40:00.000+08:00

Raves and Rants

2008-01-31T14:25:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... Let me see. My last update was on 15/04/07.. wow quite long ago.

So many things happened in this 9 months. Happy and unhappy things.

Happy because...
- I felt that i've became prettier. LOL!!!

- Finally revamped my room! Now my room's wall is in a dreamy purple colour. Changed to a single bed too. Now my room is so spacious. I love it.

- Met alot of new great friends over the past 9 months.

- Found a part time job. Having more income which also means more spending! Bosses are nice.

- Finally went to the highly raved Bangkok. It's so near to Singapore yet i've no chance to go.

- Went to Jay Chou's World Tour 2008. Didn't manage to get the tickets when it's on piority booking for OCBC card holders because i was away in Bangkok. When i was back in sg the tickets are all sold out. People are selling them for like 3 - 4 times of its original price. Feeling sad. Then organizer released 600 more tickets around xmas corner. Didn't manage to get again because i didn't know about this. Finally bought a pair of tickets from a hwz-er. Paid $177 for a $128 ticket. Just like 2 days before the concert they released 400 more tickets again! Arghh just $20+ more and i can have a $198 Cat 1 ticket. Yeahh so i called Mingyang immediately to let him know about the additional tickets so he can go and grab it. Well, at least the tickets that i bought, the seats are kinds good. At least i get to go! Ya right, trying to make myself feel better only. Felt so ripped off. :(

Unhappy because...
- Feeling damn damn tired. Been working 7 days a week for like 3 months+. So tired!!!

- Received a call from Mel yesterday. Was told that Bobby/Kok Lin passed away last month.
He's my primary school friend which means we've known each other for like 15 years?!
When Mel told me that i was really too shocked. All i said was, "Are you serious? Really? You're not kidding right? Omg.. I'm so shocked."
We lost contact with each other for quite sometime until we met each other again at the pub i used to work at. He's my colleague's best friend. We used to go for supper/billard/mahjong together when i'm still working there.
Sigh... Life is short.
People.. Please do not abuse drugs. :(

-------------------------------------

Went to Peg's house after work yesterday. To get the wall driller. Then ah dar came shortly. Ah dar suggested supper at gardens so when we decided to walk there from Peg's house. Right after we crossed the road. There's an accident behind us. How lucky are we. Imagine we're few secs late. Really... Both of us are damn shocked. It's like you feel you're so damn lucky. That damn driver must be drunk. How can someone go up the curb when the road is so wide!!! STOP DRINK DRIVING!!!!

Tired...

2007-04-15T01:03:00.000+08:00

I suddenly got this very tired feeling. I think because we've been dragging it for too many months already and somehow i got numb of it.

I don't feel uneasy if he doesn't call or sms me anymore. Whenever i have this kinda feeling i think it's time already. Which means i'm not going to get sad or unhappy over whatever things he did.

When you drag this kinda things for too long, ppl tend to get immure to it after sometime.

Numb is the word.

Anyway, i'm on a super detox slimming plan. I'm not supposed to eat any food for 1 mth except replacement meals and fruits. This replacement meal really looks like SHIT man. Omg. Whenever i see this i really wanna puke! Luckily it doesn't taste bad in fact it doesn't have much taste la.. But then 1 month! Omg! 1 WHOlE MONTH! Today's the 4th day only. But i will endure. I gonna succeed! Say yes to slimmer Shirley!

Rejection

2007-04-09T00:44:00.000+08:00

Today is such a bad day.

When i woke up i on my tv and i found out that my cable tv box is spoilt. I couldn't on it and i felt so shitty because i know i gonna stay at home for the whole of the day! Imagine no tv shows to watch for the whole day i will be damn bored! I called Starhub immediately but the guy told me they can only send a technician down on tues, i can't wait till tues! 3 days 2 nights without my cable tv! So i thought maybe i shall just go down to get the box changed.

So i thought maybe i shall get someone to go down with me because i really do not wish to go down alone. Smsed DTP but she's with her bf, called ah dar but she's at david's house which is very far, thought of DWS but think he should be with J and i really don't know who should i approach already. So pathetic. Everybody's busy with their girl/boy!

Thought of asking him.. because he's off today too and he's at home msning with me.. But in the end i did not ask him because the previous 2 times i asked him out but i got rejected. The last time was last Wed. I was with DWS last wed at Kim Seng, we went for a game of snooker. So after my game it was around 7pm and knowing that he's knocking off at 7pm i thought maybe can get him to go Kinokuniya with me because i wanna get some books. He told me he's lazy and tired. Well, i was pretty disappointed that day because i didn't expect him to reject me. Thought it's like on the way and he would agree to go with me.

And another time was last Monday, knowing that he don't need to work on that Monday, i asked him whether he wanna go catch Ninja Turtles because i know he wanna watch it. He told me that he's going with a friend so i was like oh.. okay nvm. Then he told me he's going with his ex gf, i felt rather.. erm.. sad? disappointed? awkward? jealous? unhappy? But i did not say anything of course, who am i to say it anyway.

Though i only got rejected like 2 times, but it's like 200 times to me. I really hate to take the initiative, i'm really afraid of rejection. I cannot take rejections easily. So after last Wed, i told myself. Alright, i'm not going to ask him out anymore. Though of course it's not like he always reject me, but i just don't want it to happen another time, i rather not ask.

He did offer to go with me just now, in fact quite a few times actually. But i told him it's okay. I think the way i said it was quite nasty...

I said, "It's okay, i can go myself. It's my own business and you're not obliged to go with me. I know you're lazy to go out and you're tired so i'll go down myself."

Well, i don't know why i rejected his offer so many times too. Though i really hope that he can go down with me. Maybe because he rejected me for the past few times?

Maybe he doesn't know that i really take it to heart when he rejected me.

DTP was saying she had this kind of situation before too, so she stop asking her guy out but if the guy asked her out she'll cancel all other outings just for him. Maybe both of us have really different personality. I can resist it because i want some face back.

Finally at around 6pm i couldn't take it no more, i actually went out alone. I went to J8 to do some shopping therapy. It's really pathetic, because everybody i see at J8 has got someone with them. Well, it's a Sunday so i seriously think it's quite pathetic to go out alone.

I think it's really enough already, i don't want to stay in this kind of awkward relationship. I can't take it no more.

I'm so unhappy. I think i need some help....

Taiwan!!!

2007-02-28T03:52:00.000+08:00

I wanna go to Taiwan so badly. Especially when i always loved to watch those Taiwan's shows which make me have a very good impression of Taiwan for their food and shopping! How can someone resist good food and shopping sprees?!

Might be going over to Taiwan with Jiahe & Bf and Peng. Although everything is not finalise yet, but i really wish there will be no last min changes like last time! We did try to organize overseas trip a few times and something always crop up last min like someone said she had overspend, no money or something happened and has to cancel the trip. This is really very disappointing! When you're all game for it and very excited about the trip and it has to be cancelled! I hate it!

Checked at Jetstar's website and the air tickets to Taiwan cost $449 lodging cost about $100/night. I need to stop myself from shopping for the next 2-3 mths! I must curb my shopping addicts! So if everything is okay we will be booking our tickets at the end of March for May's tickets. Daddy will return me my 1.5k which i lent him last mth so i will probably bring like 1k over just in case i really shop and spend too much. I don't want to feel restricted due to tight budget! I think 1k is good enough! If i really overspend then i'll have to pay by card which i hope it will not happen. LOL

Caught Protege in the cinema last week.I realised that Andy Lau got really SEXXAAAAYYYY butt!!!!! So sexy! I almost drooled over his butt in the cenima LOL. The movie is quite disappointing actually. Definately not a must watch movie. The storyline is very typical kind. Well, what matters is who you're watching with. Heh..

Taiwan!!! I can't stop thinking about Taiwan!

曖昧

2007-02-14T18:25:00.000+08:00

曖昧讓人受盡委屈找不到相愛的證據
何時該前進何時該放棄連擁抱都沒有勇氣

只能陪你到這裡畢竟有些事不可以
超過了友情還不到愛情遠方就要下雨的風景

到底該不該哭泣想太多的是我還是你
我很不服氣也開始懷疑
眼前的人是不是同一個真實的你
曖昧讓人受盡委屈找不到相愛的證據
何時該前進何時該放棄連擁抱都沒有勇氣

曖昧讓人變得貪心直到等待失去意義
無奈我和你寫不出結局放遺憾的美麗停在這裡

曖昧讓人受盡委屈找不到相愛的證據
曖昧讓人變得貪心直到等待失去意義
何時該前進何時該放棄連擁抱都沒有勇氣
超過了友情還不到愛情

Love - Mixed signals received.

2007-02-13T23:45:00.000+08:00

On this bored and lonely Valentine's day eve, i started to ponder about our relationship. Nope, we're not going to meet on this romantic Vday which is tomorrow. And nope, i don't think he even prepared a gift for me. Well, i did not prepare anything for him either. Simply because i don't want to lose my pride and tell him, "Hey, i've got something for you this Vday" and him replying, "I'm sorry, i did not prepare anything for you."

I strongly believe that if a guy's interested in you, he'll at least make an effort to prepare a small little gift for the one he likes no? No gifts from him makes me think that he doesn't even like me and treats me like a normal friend. But the attention and concerns he gives me makes me think that he likes me.. Or at least interested in me. Will a guy be that free to call/sms you everyday if he's not interested in you? In my opinion, no... A guy would not do that if he's not interested in you. But he doesn't ask me out often and if a guy's interested in you, i believe he would want to see you every now and then because he misses you? no?

I'm not someone who will take the initiative to request a meetup with him let alone ask him whether he likes me anot. On a few occasions, i really want to know the answer so much that i feel like prompting the question, "Do you like me? I'm confused" But i lack of the courage to do so, because i have my pride and i'm afraid that the answer would turn out negative and worse, he'll start to avoid me because he thinks that i'm crazy or something.

Why do guys like to send out this kind of mixed signals to girls? They can't be more straightforward? I'm getting confused with all the signals. The way he handle our "relationship" often let me ponder whether he's trying to let me know that we're more than friends or purely friends. This has been going on for months and i'm going to lose my patience soon. I want a confirmation from him. Be it, "yes, i likes you. But i think we should get to know each other more before we proceed on." or "Shirley, i treat you like my dear sis my dear friend."

To think i have to turn to this resort to express my anger, my disappointment. I have no one to turn to regarding this because i'm afraid my friends would probably fall asleep if they hear my grumbles. Moreover, i don't want to let them feel i'm a loser because i'm always among the strongest when i'm in front of them. Everyone around me thinks that i'm a strong girl who will not be unhappy/sad and get over almost everything easily.

When i'm alone and i start to ponder about the unhappy things, i wanted to shed so much but something's stopping me from releasing my unhappiness this way. Somehow, i'm lost the ability to do that. I've forgotten how to release my anger and unhappiness into tears like what i used to do.

I hate Love and yet i love Love. Contradicting myself again.

I'm bored.

2006-11-10T18:05:00.000+08:00

Now i'm into the 7th mth in my job... The ppl here are very nice but my job scope is kind of sucky ya. Just imagine... I get scoldings from ppl everyday! And i have to get agitated everyday for at least twice a day, in the long run i think i will die at a very young age.

Right now, i'm really bored with this job. But i like the ppl here, i like the working environment. How to leave when everyone is so nice to me especially my bosses? Imagine.. I'm late for at least 10mins everyday and sometimes 1hr for the whole of 6mths and i'm not sacked. How fortunate am i? If i am at some other company i think probably i'm gone long ago.

But... There is no OT for me here, which means my pay is fixed!!! Previously when i was in the night life i got lotsa OT to do, OT means extra money! My previous take home pay compared to my current one is a huge difference of at least $500. You can say $500 is not really a huge amount, but with this $500 i can do lotsa other things. For example, my bills.. Hp bill, PUB bill, Cable tv and maxonline bill blah blah!

My pay is so pathetic now! :(

I've been confirmed!

2006-06-01T10:46:00.000+08:00

My boss is going to employ me as a full time staff now! As of 1st June i has a full time permanent job! Haha! Previously i was a temp staff, after 2 weeks i was offered a full time position but still i need to be on probation which is 3 mths.

3 weeks into this job..... Sometimes i will get damn pissed off. Especially when i am talking to those dumb bangalas and maids. They can't seem to understand me even when i use the simplest english to communicate with them! And their english, you won't want to hear them. You will never understand their language!! Then those dumb self centered uncles, they should die!!

Busy life.

2006-05-22T17:34:00.000+08:00

Time flies eh? I was looking at my archives yesterday when i realised i had been blogging for 2 years. I started blogging out of fun, because i thought it's kind of cool to blog. Then i blog about my everyday life, every single detail of my everyday happenings. Then it started to be weekly life, then eventually monthly life. LOL!

Okay anyway, i'm in the office right now. I've found a new job and it's into my 2nd week already. As a Customer Service Officer in an IDD company. I was joking with my friends the other day regarding my job. I said, this is the first time in my life i talked to so people of different race and nationality and sometimes i had a hard time understanding them. But.... It's kind of fun! I love my new workplace my new colleagues! They're fun people lol. My boss is very young man, i didn't ask him but i guess he's like 28? Quite good looking!! LOL.

So my life has been very busy lately. Because i need to lead "normal" lifestyle now because i need to wake up in the morning for work. I need to squeeze with all the OL & OB in the buses. Luckily my workplace is quite near from my house that's why i don't need to wake up so early in the morning. This current lifestyle is really kind of challenging to me.

Challenging....?

Because i have been leading a nocturnal lifestyle for the past 4 years!!

10 more mins to knock of! :D

Broken Family

2006-05-03T07:39:00.000+08:00

I posted this entry few days back but was "eaten" up by blogspot :/

Anyway i was saying i was thinking about my 21st birthday celebration few days back then i have a few ideas on mind.

1) Chalet - costly and troublesome

2) KTV - nothing special because we go KTV like twice a week?

3) Dinner - invite all my best friends to my house for a simple dinner.

Option 3 sounds good? Simple, cheap and yet heart-warming. So i think i will go for option 3.

But here comes the problem, it's my 21st birthday celebration both my parent should be present to witness the day i officially become an adult right? But i can't possibly ask my dad over when my mum is around especially they haven't been talking to each other for like 10 years ever since they're divorced. And now both of them are already attached, will they feel awkward if they see each other with their own partners? But i want my dad to be present too!! It's my big day!

Well, i don't know. I just don't want them to feel unhappy when they see each other.

Anyway i'm out of job again. Yes AGAIN!

I'm enjoying myself right now! I feel so good when i finally get to rest. I didn't had any off days for the last 2 weeks! Been going out everyday ever since i handed in my resignation notice a week plus ago till today. I think i'm having holiday mood now! haha! Damn! How i wish i don't need to get myself another job but i can't!!

I have an interview at 11am later on. Yes 10am!! And it's freaking 8am now! Because i just reached home not long ago. hahaha!

Nice colleagues, bad management.

2006-04-03T03:52:00.000+08:00

I love my colleagues! They really makes my day. I enjoyed working with them very much! Bad the management sucks, big time! I've never met such a bad management before. I can't really stand them anymore even though i'm there for like 3 weeks only.

I always thought that working in a small company should be like working with your "family members" but this company prove me wrong. Maybe i was too naive. My previous job is with a small company but i enjoyed working there alot because everyone is very close to each other. Well, but i have to move on.

Maybe i'll be tendering my resignation letter soon. Both of my best colleagues had handed in their letter already and they'll be gone in a weeks time. Definately not because they're quitting thats why i want to quit too. It's because i've witnessed how sucky the management is.

Say for example,

That day when my mum is admitted to the hospital. I called them in the morning to let them know that i can't make it to work on that day because i need to be in the hospital with my mum.

On the line.....
Me: Hello, Shirley here, i'm sorry but i can't make it to work today because my mum is hospitalised and i'm in the hospital now.
Manager: Hmmm..... Okay, do you have any proof that your mum is being hospitalised so we can excuse you for the day?
Me: Yes, i have the receipt from the ambulance and hospital.
Manager: So do you think you can make it for work tomorrow?
Me: Err... Can i call you back later like in the noon to confirm? Because i don't know whats the situation now.
Manager: Okay.. Call me back before 2pm

30mins later.......
Lynn: Hi Shirley, this is lynn from XX job agency... I heard that your mum is being hospitalised and you can't make it to work? (for your info i got my job thru a job agency)
Me: Yeah.. I'm in the hospital now.
Lynn: Can u make it to work tomorrow?
Me: Not too sure yet, because i still don't know how is my mum now.
Lynn: I'm sure if your mum is in the hospital there will be nurses and doctors around to look after her. Maybe you don't need to be there always.
Me: I'm sorry Lynn, you must understand that i'm the only kin my mum has. I need to be by her side.
Lynn: Err...... But you know it's not very nice to take leave when you had just started work not long ago.
Me: Ok fine. If thats the case then i'll turn up for work tomorrow no matter what.

Okay. My conclusion is. Fuck! They're so heartless! Since the agency knows about it means my manager had called her to so call complain or something? And then after that i was thinking, that means even if (touchwood) my mum is seriously ill i still need to report for work? How heartless can they be.

Then another is, when i received my timesheet for pay calculation which is meant to be handed over to my agency to get my pay. I saw this small little note there,

"Pls note that there is an unscheduled break of 30mins on 15th march. Therefore a deduction of $30."

I was like. WTF i didn't go for any unscheduled break! I DIDN'T I DIDN'T!!!! They're deducting my hard earned money for nothing! Then i feedback this to my manager, guess what... They kept pushing the blame! FINE! Okay anyway now i'm cleared this up with them already, but i'm still pissed off with them.

And there are lots lots lots more to say about them.

I hope i can get a new job soon and i can leave this place.

Drifting apart?

2006-03-29T03:32:00.000+08:00

No, maybe i reading into it too much. I met up with her few days back. We still talk like before, laugh like before, bitch like before. She's still the very old sweet girl i used to know. Always giving me little surprises. I'm glad, really very glad to have you as my friend gal. ^^

My bestest friend and me is like drifting apart. I know she's very busy nowadays and the bf just ORD. I'm very sad to feel that we're drifting apart. She is the only person whom i share everything with. I love her so much!

I've tried to ask her out, but mostly getting rejected. This upsets me, you know.... When you are rejected too many times you feel demoralised. Think she's spending most of her time with her bf now. Of course, if this is the right guy for her, i'm very happy! But i don't think love is everything right? Maybe i don't understand because i'm not someone who will think that i only need love in my life.

Or maybe because i'm not used to it yet. Because for many many years we spend most of our free time together and now we can't anymore thats why i feel that we're drifting apart. I really don't wish to see this, i hope my thinking is unnesessary.

Congrats me!

2006-03-10T01:16:00.000+08:00

I'm no longer jobless!!

I went for a interview last Wed. My first job interview actually, and i was damn lucky. The company called me up within 3 hrs after my interview. Which means i've got the job! Yeah... lucky me! I was spared from the many many interview sessions!

I started work 3 days ago. Not so bad, colleagues are nice. And i'm very lucky to be able to prove myself yesterday. Which everyone's talking about it and everybody praised me about it. Which made me realise that "words by mouth" is very "POWERFUL"! Anyway i'm happy!

But i really don't know how long will i stay in this company. This job is damn boring!! That kind of job, sit-down-and-wait-for-pay-day which is not something i want. I want a more challenging job! I want a job which can let me perform! But..... being employed is better then jobless la.

Mr S sent this picture via mms to me yesterday. I was like WTF. But this is a classic one. hahaha

Carpe diem

2006-02-26T08:14:00.000+08:00

Carpe diem [Latin] - n. [literally, sieze the day] the enjoyment of the pleasures of the moment without concern for the future.

Some say, crying is a form of de-stress.

2006-02-21T07:12:00.000+08:00

Insomnia

2006-02-21T05:28:00.000+08:00

Help, i need help. This is the 4th time of the week i'm suffering from insomnia.

I can't get to sleep. Usually till like 1 - 2pm in the noon.

Too much things going thru my mind i guess. Been thinking about studies and work. I'll be taking up a degree course thru Distance-Learning soon. My field of interest is IT. But my main concern is, a degree from overseas uni recognized in sg in IT field? Though some of my friends somehow answered me my qns. But i'm still worried.

I was told that ppl from China and India are the ones who do well in IT field. (There're exceptions of course!) Not sure about ppl from China, but i'm sure ppl from India are very good. And then my worries came in, will i be able to get even a so call decent job with decent pay if i graduate with my degree? Of course, if i am able to do well and i mean very well, i don't think i won't be able to get a "decent" job in this field. What if i only pass with a so-so results? Die la. I waste my money on that degree. Okay i shall think positively, i'll pass with flying colours *cross fingers*

And then, my next concern. Which is the best school in sg which offers the best DL degree from the best uni? After weeks of research, of course i did find out a few good ones. But then, the cost. This is a major factor for me. I don't come from a very well to do family! Sigh. Means i must settle for the 2nd best or worse come to worse 3rd best one. What if Singapore is over flooded with the so call Best graduates? Then me, who belonged to the 2nd or even 3rd best will be like out of job?! The so call best ones can easily cost you like 1.9k aussie dollar per module. And that excludes the tuition fees! Comes up to like........ Lost count.

Though my dad say he'll probably pay for my school fees. What about my expenses? No way i'll be getting from him again. I admit, my expenses are high and if my dad gonna pay for my school fees and my expenses, he'll probably suffocate. Means i must work and study at the same time. I want to be the best if i wanna do it. That's why i don't wanna take up a part time because full time student learn more then part time one IMO.

You must be wondering why i wanna study out of a sudden eh? I've been thinking about this since more then 6 mths ago. Because i seriously think i needa do something about myself. I don't want to be like some of my ex colleagues. At the age of 30s, only having an income of not more then 2k gross pay. I believe i can do more then this.

Maybe i've been thinking too much about goals and life recently which caused my insomnia. It sucks when i needa wake up early in the morning to go to schools to make enquries etc.

The feeling sucks!!!!!!!

Left on the shelves?

2006-02-20T08:29:00.000+08:00

Shit, i realised more and more of my friends are married!! One more will be getting married next month. Darn, will i be left on the shelves!?!?

I still can't sleep yet because Zhian's at my house now and i have to wake zhian up at 9am for work later.

I'm sleepy but my bed's occupied!!!!! Though mine's a queen sized bed and i have lotsa extra pillows, but.......

Support blogspot default templates!

2006-02-15T23:24:00.000+08:00

Yea if you had realise it i'm using blogspot's default template. Actually there are nice templates inside too! Especially mine, muahahaha nicest! Because it's in brown. I suddenly got a liking for brown nowadays, i love all the shades of brown!

Oh yea no more the blue Shirley.

Long lost friend

2006-02-15T11:07:00.000+08:00

I found my long lost friend at friendster. Actually not him but his brother. Now i'm wondering should i msg his brother to look for my friend. Kinda awkward right?

"Hello, you're eric's bro eh? Eric's my long lost friend! Can i have his contact number? Thanks"

Bahh.

So i'm still wondering shall i msg his brother or not. I'm afraid that Eric, who is my long lost friend don't remember who am i! That will make me so pai seh. What's more, we didn't contact each other for like 5 yrs? But i still remember him la! I got good memory doesn't mean other ppl has got good memory also huh.

Anyway, lotsa stuffs happened these 2 months. I'm damn unlucky la! I think i've nv been so unlucky in my life before. Lost alot of money during CNY, car accident.... etc.

What's happening to the ppl ard me?

2005-12-30T09:06:00.000+08:00

I just finished surfing Friendster (Ok i admit i was too bored) and i mean i really SURFED it. I view alot of pages. Viewed profiles of those who hmm should be considered acquaintances of mine. Like my ex schoolmates, friends whom we used to hang out together but never get a chance to see each other anymore not even a phone call or something. I got a shock. I realised many and i mean MANY of them are married, some married with kids and some maybe just married.

Well, i always tell ppl around me, if one day i were to get pregnant unintentionally i will drag myself for an abortion. I know it's a damn sinful thing to do so but how can i take care of a kid when i can't even take care of myself? And worse... I'm not even mentally prepared at all! But i know, it's always easier said then done. But i really can't accept the idea of being tied down by a kid at such a young age. Call me selfish or whatever. The idea is definately out.

We're all like 20 years old only? getting married at the age of 20 is a lil to early? Until today then i realise i got so many married gfs around me. Now it makes me look like i'm left on the shelve or something lol. What's happening man? Young ladies nowadays don't like to enjoy themselves anymore?

Okay, i am really not against the idea of marriage but 20 is just a lil too young yeah.

Peace.

2005-12-17T05:47:00.001+08:00

My first stop Genting Highlands.

2005-12-17T05:47:00.000+08:00

Stayed a night at First World Hotel which costs us RM206. The usual First world hotel only cost RM99! The price actually increased more then double because it's school holiday!

2005-12-17T05:46:00.000+08:00

Bye Genting Highlands. I took a bus from Genting to go back to KL and this damn driver drove damn fast when going downhill! After like 10mins inside the bus i really feels like vomiting! I think he didn't realise that he's driving a bus :/

2005-12-17T05:43:00.000+08:00

On da way to KLCC

2005-12-17T05:39:00.000+08:00

This thing caught my eye. Out of curiousity i walked in and check it out. This Premier Paid Toilet is located on the 1st floor, where all the designer goods are.

2005-12-17T05:38:00.000+08:00

This is what you get for paying RM2, a wet tissue and a receipt. They even need to issue a receipt :/

2005-12-17T05:37:00.000+08:00

There's a full range of The Body Shop products for you to use. Nothing special about this RM2 toilet just like any other toilets, except that it's really clean. You can't find even a drop of water on the ground and around the basin.

2005-12-17T05:32:00.000+08:00

You get massage from the indonesian lady. But it doesn't come free, i mean by doing this she's expecting you to pay her tips eh? So the toilet charge is actually RM2+++! But this lady can massage quite well i must say.

2005-12-17T05:30:00.000+08:00

i don't really mind paying RM2 to get into a clean toilet with toilet rolls inside -_-, as we all know msia's public toilets are.. omg.

2005-12-17T05:23:00.001+08:00

KLCC's day view.

2005-12-17T05:23:00.000+08:00

KLCC's night view. damn nice huh?

2005-12-17T05:15:00.001+08:00

my sweetie pie cousin. must be a babe to be.

2005-12-17T05:15:00.000+08:00

sweetie pie

i am missy bai ka

2005-11-24T16:05:00.000+08:00

Something dramatic happened yesterday! Guess what? I fainted on the streets! First time in my life. Okay it goes like this......

Around 8pm i wanted to go out then i headed to the bus stop around my house. When i was going down the stairs at the bus stop i felt giddy then i fell, ya and from there i sprained my leg quite badly. Then nvm, i get up, i immediately sit down again because i having blackout!! I cannot see anything! When i regain abit of my conscious i tried to walk to the seat above the bus stop. Okay i reached there, then i sat down. Trying to figure out what's happening in my sub-conscious state. I look for my phone and called for help. Okay while waiting for my friend to come. Studborn me tried to walk back home alone.. I think i fainted within ten steps of walk hahaha! I don't remember how i faint but i drop on the ground, then there's this guy came "are u okay are u okay?!!??! i help u to the seat!!!" Okay right here, i must thank him for helping me, there is still good hearted youngsters around, okay la not very young la 20+ i supposed. Everything just so dramatic la!! Alex says must be low blood pressure and lack of food. haha. I guess so because i got low blood pressure history.

I just came back from the sinseh, sinseh said that i fractured my ankle slightly. Then i went into the room, i told him no accupunture pls because i am DAMN scare of needles. He says i got blood clogged around my ankle and needs to remove. I saw him taking something out of his drawer when i was lying down, then omg! i saw him taking a needle out. I kept saying no accupunture plsssss!!!!!!! He ignored me, then he poke into my leg liao. After that he say if he don't do this my leg will never get well la. LL !!!!!!!! When he poke the 2 needles in huh, fwah........ it's DAMN PAINFUL. I even screamed hahahaha.

OT abit. Did i say before? When i was 14, i had a minor bike accident in malaysia then my uncle send me to the polyclinic. Doc says must jab antibiotics i immediately weep. hahaha. I cry until so jia lat that the doc gave up on me and says u piercings so many tattoos also have now u scare of a small needle?!

Now my leg is swollen la! How am i supposed to go to KL tml!?!?!?

photoshop-ed

2005-11-23T06:08:00.000+08:00

I'm playing around with photoshop with those new brushes Alex recommended me. Here are some samples xD

2005-11-23T06:05:00.000+08:00

my first try, i failed terribly. The designs don't blend haha.

2005-11-23T06:04:00.000+08:00

2nd try, still don't look that good but heck. xD

2005-11-23T06:02:00.000+08:00

by alex~

stressed out.

2005-11-17T04:43:00.000+08:00

Feeling kinda stressed out recently, the never ending problems coming all the way. Well, who doesn't have lotsa problems. Money, family, work, love, studies and so on. But lucky me, i doesn't have any problems with my friends, they're a group of lovable friends :)

Family and Money...
My mum is sick, i don't really know what kinda sickness is she suffering from, yea unfillial me. But i just never got the chance to see her, believe it or not, i didn't see her for weeks already and worse thing is yes, we live under the same roof. She ever told me before she's feeling numb all over her body and she doesn't have anymore strength to work, she needs to see the doc every now and then, she needs to go for acupuncture once every week, she needs lotsa money but she isn't earning due to her health conditions. She said won't be able to work anymore soon and i gotta support her. Of coz, i am willing to do that because she's my mum, the one and only mother i has. But... How am i going to support her? I got my own expenses, my own bills, my house's bills and now i needs to pay for her expenses and even worse medical bills. How am i able to do that?? After hearing this from her, i really feel the pressure, i do.

Work.....
I need a stable job, i need a job which will be able to support me and my mother.

Love.....
Love life has been empty for a year or more. I spend a year to forget him. For don't know what reason, i feel that it's so hard to open myself up to another person again. But sometimes i really feel the need of a person loving me, hugging me, kissing me............

Studies.....
I want to upgrade myself, i really need to self-upgrade. I don't want to stay like this forever....

2005-11-16T02:35:00.000+08:00

When i was on the bus that day, i saw this mentally retarded girl boarding the bus and walking towards my direction, behind her was an older woman, who had the same condition as her which i supposed is her mother. I actually weeped when i saw this scene, i don't know for what reason. I felt so blessed at that point of time, though not some big beauty or whatever, but at least i'm born normal.

So anyway, i just watched Just Like Heaven, the show's so sweet... Best words to describe this movie is, Short and sweet.

damn morons.

2005-11-12T17:43:00.000+08:00

I'm back from msia! Nothing much happened there, except i almost got into a car accident that day. I was driving then there was this slight curve on the road, curve as in you can't see anything after the curve that kind. Then happily driving, at around 120km/hr, reached the curve, turn abit, and i got a shock out of my life. I saw this i think at least 6 wheels long truck parked right after the curve. I step on the brake immediately and everything just jerked. Everybody in the car was pushed forward, my cousin sitting beside me my baby cousin behind, i'm worried for my baby cousin at that point of time, she's sitting alone at the back of the car, worrying whether did she knock onto anything or what but luckily she didn't. When the car had come to a complete stop, i'm like less then a metre behind the truck only. HOW DUMB CAN THESE MORONS BE, WHO WILL PARKED THEIR CAR RIGHT AFTER A CURVE OF A ROAD??? damn morons.

More whinings.

Because i was so desperate to check my mails when i was in msia, as all my stocks are stucked in taiwan waiting for my permission. Okay, i asked my cousin JH whether are there any cybercafes around, she asked her dad, and to our surprise there is. We walked to that shop.... walking walking walking.. wah piang. It's a small lil non air-con shop with 4 PCs inside only. Okay, nvm about that because i was really desperate to check my mails. To my horror.... The PC is so damn fucking slow can?? Imagine i need like 30mins to just read 10 SHORT mails. I checked the system's specs and it's P4 2.66 the slowest P4 i ever used!! Because i can't multi-task. I can't open different applications at one time, i'll just hang the whole system. I finally can't take it no more and we left.

No more whinings.

New haircut!!

2005-11-08T04:09:00.000+08:00

Finally i got my new haircut, i've been suffering for like a month because my fringe is so damn long that it cover both my eyes fully. I went to Toa Payoh, De Elements for a haircut. Edison, the guy who cut my hair for me did a very very good job! I love my hair! But i'll need to style it to make it look nicer la, because it's kinda jap style kind. That salon belongs to Mediacorp artress, Yang Li Bing and her sis, Yang Li Na. Okay, in case you don't know Yang Li Bing is that Li Nanxing's ex wife la. A haircut + wash for $31 bucks is quite reasonable. Most important thing is, whether the stylish did a good job or not! Actually i'm going to Zhian's salon, Le Salon located at Takashimaya for a haircut, but i was too lazy to travel to taka so in the end i settle myself with the salon at Toa Payoh. I feel so good now with a new haircut!!!

I've been shopping for clothes these few days. Yes la, overspend again. But i bought a dress today, a dress?? Shirley Tan buying a dress??? A pink dress somemore! hahahaha. If i don't open my mouth i will look like a shu nu in a dress la, but if i open my mouth then hmm shu nu no more.

2005-11-04T06:26:00.000+08:00

This shall be a photoblog session!

The shemales.

2005-11-04T06:23:00.000+08:00

2005-11-04T06:22:00.005+08:00

2005-11-04T06:22:00.004+08:00

2005-11-04T06:22:00.003+08:00

2005-11-04T06:22:00.002+08:00

2005-11-04T06:22:00.001+08:00

Now the babes from cheena

2005-11-04T06:22:00.000+08:00

2005-11-04T06:21:00.001+08:00

2005-11-04T06:21:00.000+08:00

Golden bell awards.

2005-11-04T06:06:00.000+08:00

Wah, if i'm a guy, this will definately turn me on man.

2005-11-04T06:05:00.001+08:00

Check Xiao S's tits out, fucking beautiful pair of tits.

2005-11-04T06:05:00.000+08:00

Though not some big busty kind, but her tits is really beautiful.

2005-11-04T06:04:00.000+08:00

2005-11-04T06:03:00.000+08:00

2005-11-04T06:02:00.000+08:00

Who say need to reveal parts of their body to look nice? Bao mi mi also can look nice! Lang sui jiu si sui.

This is what happen when you take budget airline.

2005-11-04T05:55:00.000+08:00

2005-11-04T05:54:00.000+08:00

Fucking ugly scene for a girl.

Virus attack

2005-11-01T06:30:00.000+08:00

I kanna one fucking virus yesterday while searching for cracks online. Stupid me click wrongly, and click yes to those prompts to install something from their website and TA DAH kanna virus. I can't even click on anything because of the virus, i tried to boot up using safe mode and still, the virus is acting up. In the end i got so fed up that i formated my pc and the results of it? I LOST ALL MY FILES! My precious pictures over the years, my precious HTML files i did over the years, my precious cracked version of softwares, my precious.............. ALL GONE LA!

The malware install this anti virus thing inside my pc and it keeps scanning for virus, after the scan finish, it prompted me to purchase this software to remove the virus, i can't click on any other single thing except this anti virus program. HOW SHIT IS THAT!!!!!!

I hate MLM.

2005-10-31T02:29:00.000+08:00

I got approached by my friend's friend today. She's in the MLM line and of coz she's trying to recruit ppl la. She explained like 2 hrs to me? About MLM, ok i'll not say which company is she from. But anyway, she explained how easy money was if you're inside. I wasn't even abit interested in the topic because i just can't stand MLM companies! My idea of MLM is, MLM companies always target innocent aunties saying how much easy money you can earn in their company and being the naive aunties, they believed them and signed on to their few Ks facial package, detox package, slimming package or whateverso. I do believe that some of them can really earn big bucks in a MLM company, but how many of those aunties can do that? Ok la, maybe i got a wrong idea of MLM but this is just my opinion.

Anyway, i'm so happy!! Remember i said i'm trying to earn some pocket money by doing a sideline? I'm selling stuffs imported from taiwan. Yea, i got my first customer within hours when i launch my stuffs! Now i've got a few of them already! Ya la, a few in 2 days isn't much. But i'm new in this, so i need to slowly build a better foundation. Though i don't earn much from this, but it's actually more like a kind of interest to me. It's okay to earn peanuts for a start, who knows i might make it one day muahaha.

And they're doing this sort of chain letter thing.....

rules of the game: Post 5 Weird and Random Facts abt yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. Do not post the names of the people who've done this before.

1) I don't drool like you guys, coz i am shui mei ren.

2) I'm SWEET (as honey)

3) I'm BEAUTIFUL (yes i am)

4) I'm SLIM (i feel guilty when i say this)

5) I'm ....................... Shirley?

Like this can??? WHAHAHAHA

2005-10-31T02:25:00.000+08:00

I tell you i seen this small lil jeep parked at the carpark at my void deck X times and i'll definately stop and take a look inside everytime i pass by. It's a very small and old jeep but THIS IS SO COOL! The leather seats in this jeep, is actually, LV monogram. Fwah? And my friend told me this jeep appeared on tv before, and the LV leathering is real stuff. Now, how cool is that?

2005-10-29T08:24:00.000+08:00

it's a good good GOOD hairday! I love good hairdays. It makes my mood good for the whole of the day.

2005-10-29T08:23:00.000+08:00

How about wavy hair for a change? I'm the new age auntie!

I'm still alive and kicking!

2005-10-27T00:10:00.000+08:00

Been a long long long time since i last update, this blog has once again been deserted by me. Very busy nowadays, busy doing my own stuffs. Trying to do some sideline to get some extra income. But i'm so BROKE now! Because my old cheena wols cpu broke down on me like 3 weeks ago. Therefore, i need to get myself a new cpu. Anyway i've been wanting to get one new cpu like months ago but i didn't bear to spend that amount because my cheena is still working fine. Now that it has broke down i have every reason to buy a new one for myself. BUT it always has to break down during those months whereby i am most broke! So again, i have to get a budget cpu. Spend $779 for this cpu, abit ex for the specs. But at least i got very good service and after service from that shop at SLS. Which makes me feel better for spending abit more.

Speaking of SLS, when i went down to SLS that day to get a new cpu. I drove my friend's car there. And only till then did i realise i'm such a big road idiot. I really cannot remember roads that i've drive on before. Because i went to pick my friend up to go SLS together in the morning that day. Then headed to SLS, was on CTE then shit, i missed one exit therefore i got to make one huge detour! When i was at SLS, my friend left earlier leaving me alone in SLS waiting for the person to get my pc fixed. When everything's done, one very good qns pop up on my mind. How shall i go back to amk from SLS?? Tikam tikam, i choose the right exit from the carpark, go up straight all the way and phew i saw parklane then i know how to go back home liao :/ I seriously didn't know that i'm also one huge road idiot before this incident happen.

Been meeting up with alot of friends nowadays, a all girls' night out at least once a week. The feeling is good, when you meet up all your long time friends for dinner, clubbing, kopi session, mahjong session... Do what and go where doesn't really matter as long as you're with the right group of ppl who are all so fun-loving like my group of girls.

I love my friends. :)

this will be the best birthday gift this year.

2005-08-19T04:13:00.000+08:00

DID I JUST TOLD YOU THAT I PASSED MY DRIVING TODAY? :D

Grown up also will get jealous mah!

2005-08-03T07:31:00.000+08:00

Dad called me few days ago, telling me that his wife is pregnant. FYI, his wife is not my mum, my parents are divorced and i'm staying with my mum now but i'm very close to my dad. So anyway, when i heard this news, i almost cried. Because i'm so scare that my dad won't dote on me anymore after his wife give birth! Call me stupid or selfish. But being the only child of my family for 20 years, it's quite hard for me to accept that i have a sibling now. Especially a sibling whose age gap is 2 decades from me. I'm just too used to having all the things to myself, having all my dad's attention, having my dad all to myself. I felt so uncomfortable all over after he told me this, i was feeling down for the whole of that day. But dad said he don't know whether to keep the baby or not, he said that they haven't come to a decision yet. But i think they should be keeping. A few of our relatives have been giving them pressure about having a kid since day 1 they got married. But i always thought that they would never do so because of their age. I cannot imagine my dad, so busy with the newborn that he forgotten about me in the future, i don't want this to happen!

My relationship with my dad just got better in few years and i'm still enjoying kinship. How can this end so soon? Will he really neglect me in future? Can i still share my problems with him? So i had all these doubts for a few days and i finally decided to call my dad up.

Me: Hey dad, how's auntie? How many months already?
Dad: Should be 2 months+, but not confirm keeping still. But how to abort? Sigh
Me: Ya lor, Abortion is bad, you're killing a life! (A lil bit not from my heart)
Me: Dad, u know hor that day when u told me i almost burst into tears leh! I so scare u won't dote on me anymore after u have the newborn, will you?
Dad: No la... Afterall he/she is still your lil bro/sis right? You're a grown up liao mah!
Me: Grown up also will get jealous mah! And i will be very jealous, i have all your attention for 20 years suddenly u tell me i got another sibling i abit not used to it mah.
Dad: No la! Same one la, i will still dote on you!

So my conclusion was, i will definately get neglected because it's a newborn so dad will
definately divert all his attention to the newborn and i will be left alone to fed for myself. And my dad and i will be back to last time again - So near yet so far.

Or maybe, i worry a lil too much.

Happy Birthday my dearest tian xin!!

2005-08-02T03:46:00.000+08:00

Met up with Peg just now, it was her birthday. 1st of Aug. There's only two of us because she said she needed to tell me something important. So i thought it might be something personal so i didn't ask anyone else along. But there's always fun even when there's only the two of us!!

There she is, unwrapping the present i gave to her anxiously! But before she unwrap this she read a card from me, not really card, but it's a piece of normal paper. Which explains that i'm really broke, then i gotta get her this pathetic present this year, asking her don't feel sad.

Her so sarcastic smile when she realised that i gave her a pathetic $2.85 notepad. It's so funny when i saw her expressions! She was like WTF? A notepad???? She said she's speechless at this point of time. Then i took my hp pretending to sms someone else, but i smsed her instead. "Now, give me your sweetest smile, sweetest nicest smile you never give to anyone before to me for your real gift." She then realise i was having her on, so she was like trying to smile as nice as she could.

She then asked me is this another prank, what if i open up this gift and i found some dead cockroaches. No, this is not another prank anymore, this is her real birthday gift. Creative Zen Nano Plus. See her smiling so beautiful when she got this gift, and she even ran over and give me a kiss! Happy birthday sweetie.

The brownie is just way toooo sweet for the both of us so she decided to draw her face with it. And i ended up playing with the brownie instead of her. I said we need to have one piece as the mole because she too has mole on top of her lips lol.

i'll regain my freedom soon.

2005-07-31T05:14:00.000+08:00

Why? Because i've decided that i'm going to quit my job. I cannot tolerate that place anymore, no the place don't suck. I still miss seeing those customers who apparently becomes my good friends. I just can't tolerate the sight of those two, my boss and her "housewife". FYI, because this guy is leaving off my boss for EVERYTHING, therefore he got this nick housewife.

I haven't told her about this, but i decided to tell her i need an immediate resign probably tomorrow after i got my pay cheque. I actually thought of playing punk in the first place, this is something i'm very capable of in my younger days. I love to MIA from work back then. But if i do it this time, i will bring hell to my friends who frequents this place. I'm sure they gonna get questioned, i don't wish to sabotage them. But i really hate the idea of giving one month notice if i were to resign, it's stated in my appointment letter that i need to give a month notice for resignation.

Imagine, if i were to tell her tomorrow and then a month later then i am officially resigned. What kind of treatment will i get during the one month? Okay, because i'm on really bad terms with both of them right now, we all know that both she and me are unhappy about each other and i mean VERY unhappy. So i'm thinking how shall i put it tomorrow so that she'll grant my immediate resign. Then this idea came, because i received a letter from CPF board few days ago. It says that my employer did not contribute my CPF for the month of May. So i'm thinking maybe i can use this to threaten her, i don't mean threaten but this will be my last resort. But when i checked my CPF statement just now, i realised that she already deposited May's CPF contribution into my account, immediately i goes, "shit, i can't threaten her no more" But nvm, there's June's one, and i found out one mistake! Which is she deposited 50over bucks lesser then what is supposed to be in for the month of dec. Though it's only a small sum but it is considered cheating too right? Therefore, for example she really don't let me have an immediate resign, insists that i have to give her a month notice, fuck off. I'm using this point as a topic then, i hope she can give in when i use this to threaten her.

Maybe you're thinking, "Hey Shirley, do you need to stoop to so low just to get an immediate resign?" But well, i really can't take it no more, if today she were to say a few more sentence, i will just give her a slap. I don't care she's a pregnant lady or what, i just fucking can't take it no more. I've tolerated with her for more then a year and now the temper is on top of my head already. It's enough, she's taking me for granted. Btw, CPF contribution is part of my pay too! If she deposit $50 lesser means she cheating me, cheating my pay. And our dear government takes a serious view of employer not paying CPF contributions eh? I'm on the advantage!

I don't care if i can find another job after i resigned. What i care is NOW. I'm so fucking unhappy working there!

Underaged

2005-07-30T05:32:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i feel old when i look at underaged teens. For example, i will occasionally check young punks ic who come for a drink if they really look very young. It remind me of myself in the past, scared of bouncers or whoever checking my ic when i need to get in a club, buy an alcoholic drink or cigs when i'm underaged. Of coz, i'm still underaged now, under 21! I still can't legally walk into some places like, the casino, R21 movies. I must go to Genting Highlands next year after my birthday, and at that time i can legally walk in the casino from their main door! It's so funny checking young punks ic when i'm not even "old" enough. But whats with the young punks nowadays? Seems like alot of them have this arty farty style going on, and the i-can-drink-alot-can-you style. I seen one guy, who is barely 18 years old this yr, had 7 shots of Barcadi 151 down. FYI, Barcadi 151 is some sucidal stuff which contains 75.5% alcohol volume. Wow? 7 shots. Not everyone can take it, even immure drinkers, maybe can't take it too. 151 burns you inside out if you take it neat. The thing goes in your body and in a moment you can feel it burning up to your throat. Trust me, you won't want to have that kind of feeling, it's awful. When i was talking to this young punk, refering to the one who had 7 shots of 151. I said who's the best drinker in your group? He said, "probably me or him, refering to one of his friend" wow, he's quite confident huh. But i told him, don't say it too soon yet. If you continue to drink this way you'll get yourself into trouble. Everytime he come he'll definately have a few shots of 151 before he leave, i believe his livers or maybe everything inside his body will be burnt in few years to come! Now young punks who think they can really drink, try 151, if you can drink 10 shots of 151 at one go and still can remember where your house is, i respect you!!

Sick

2005-07-27T06:36:00.000+08:00

I'm sick, yes again. Now i'm down with fever, cough and a splitting headache! I came back halfway my work because i couldn't take it no more. My head is going to explode! Slept my way thru from 10pm till 5am until my whole body aches. Didn't had a good sleep actually, wonder why my phone is so busy today and it kept ringing! Anyway now my fever had gone down abit, 37.7degress now as compared to 38.4 earlier on. But my headache is killing me. I wonder why i'm so weak nowadays, i falls sick more often as compared to last time!

Back to sleep.

The L Plates.

2005-07-19T07:27:00.000+08:00

I have far too many L plates girls or even G plates guys around me right now that other straight friends of mine kept asking me, whether i would turn myself into a L plate because i mixed with too much of them now? Hmm... I'm quite sure i won't. I can accept the idea of homosexual but it only applies to the others. But for myself, i can't imagine myself on the bed with a girl. What shall we do on the bed? Watching each other's body when i have the same thing as u? I'm not insulting them. I accept homos with my arms wide open! No matter they're L or G or straight, there're always nice ppl inside the category. I've a few very good friends who are L plates. And i mixed around with them alot, i even went to L pubs or restaurants with them before. I don't mind ppl mistaking me as a L, i only need to be clear about myself. I'm very sure that i am straight and my L friends all knows that i'm straight.

Some of my straight friends despise L and G alot. They thinks that ppl like this are all adnormal. Yes i admit some of them became homo because of peers pressure. But what about those who're born to be like this? Why do u need to despise them? Why do u need to care whether they're straight or not when it doesn't even bother you and your life? Anyway, i really admire some of the homos. They can take everything so gracefully, they can be themselves even when there are alot of eyes looking at them. They're all not hypocrites, or maybe it only apply to my group of homo friends. But i think that homos can make a better friend. Err.. I don't mean my straight friends are bad! They're nice ppl too. But homos can make a very good friend also, they're more straightforward.

Anyway, my dear friends who had asked me whether i would turned into one L because of peers pressure, i'm proud to tell you no. I'm not easily affected by peers. I am myself.

2005-07-19T06:57:00.000+08:00

While i was browsing thru my folders i found this. Check this picture out! Breasts? nope. it's a pair of legs and yes i took this picture haha

2005-07-18T07:20:00.000+08:00

Haven't been sleeping well for the pass few days, thus causing me to be late for work almost everyday. I'm late for more then an hour for 3 times this July. It's really bad. But i am really too tired and i overslept. Worse, sometimes i dozed off on the chair at work, not for 5mins, 10mins sometimes 30mins, an hour. Yes i'm that tired, because i practically have like only 3 to 4 hours of sleep everyday because i got home so late in the morning that i don't have enough time to sleep before i go to work! Ya, i'm wondering why ain't i in bed still now too, because my bio clock is all messed up! Gotta fix my bio clock....

Realised i changed back to my old layout? Because i was too lazy to see whats wrong with my old template, i know the problem has been there for quite sometime but i was just too busy.

2005-07-06T07:55:00.000+08:00

this is my latest hangout place, my friend's floral shop at bukit timah. it's a cosy nice place! with a manicure station inside. they're good, trust me! if you need any setups for events try them!

2005-07-06T07:40:00.000+08:00

Yes, i haven't been updating for a long long time. Ladyluck is not shining at me recently. I was so unlucky. Everything's not smooth. Firstly, my career, lotsa bumps here and there! And then, i lost my wallet! Whats worse, i just withdrawn 200bucks from the atm before i lost my wallet! I happilly went shopping after withdrawing the money and then when i spotted something i wanna buy i found out that i lost my wallet. Ya, Ic, my cards, my cash all gone. The most irritating part is the fine for my ic! Yes i paid the fine already and till now nobody returns me my ic which means i can't get back my fine. Nvm bout that because it's my mistake, i was too careless. I was still holding to my wallet when i alight the cab at toa payoh central and 10mins later it's lost. I think i didn't slot it properly into my bag. It's a bad bad mth. Losing 500 bucks for nth.

But then come to think of it, i have good things happening too. I've been meeting up with old friends recently. And i enjoys their company. Times flies, we used to be lil sch girls back then wearing sch uniform playing truants. lol. Used to be those carefree lil girls who don't sch don't work just meet up and have fun everyday. But now, everybody got their own career, everybody's busy with their own work that we can hardly get together. I cherish this few girls alot, their my bestest buddies.

2005-06-09T00:43:00.000+08:00

This bitch is damn fucking horny! She's rubbing hard against Terence's legs lol!! She raped Terence for 30mins non stop. In the end Brownie..........

2005-06-09T00:41:00.000+08:00

Brownie and XuanXuan after making out. I didn't managed to capture the pic of them fucking because brownie cum-ed in less then 2 mins lol. brownie's penis was stucked inside Xuan LOL i didn't know that dog's penis would get stucked after making out.

2005-06-09T00:39:00.000+08:00

Still stucked, and it was stucked for good 15mins. rofl

2005-06-09T00:20:00.000+08:00

Ya la i failed my driving test today! Haha that fucking tester is damn hard to please. One of the reasons he failed me is because he said that i'm driving too slow on the road! I was like, Hey com'on it's normal road i was going like 40+km/h because the traffic was quite heavy at that time another reason is because i'm afraid that if i go too fast he'll fail me for speeding. Another is because i'm too nervous la. Normal i think, who won't be nervous for their first driving test! My instructor told me the tester i got like ppl to drive fast and do everything fast, i admit la i hesitate quite alot just now. I was surprised that my circuit was rather fine during the test. I always thought that i'll score most in my circuit lol. In the end i got 32 points with 1 immediate failure stated "Fail to form up correctly". It's okay i can always have a re-test! My next test date is on Aug.

The first one i called after my test was Charmaine. Because she looks down on me so much yesterday! Saying if i pass the odds is 1/10 if i get 20 points to 40 points the odds is 1/1 all these odds are offered by her to bet with other ppl! She even say that if i really passed she'll rent one manual car for me to drive for one whole day and she's paying for it! Which means she thinks that i'll fail for sure!!! Damn her. hahaha but she's kidding la. Second one i called was my Dad.

Me: Pa, i failed my driving leh.

Dad: You si bei aw leh must be u kan cheong spider right

Me: Ya la your daughter kan cheong spider you don't know meh?

Dad: Laughs.

Dad: I'm at JB now, i saw one car and i'm going to buy it for you..

Me: SERIOUS???? hehehehehe

Though the car is for me to use whenever i go back to Msia, but i'm happy enough!

2005-06-02T13:48:00.000+08:00

I'm shocked... too shocked for words to hear from T that S commited suicide a month ago.

Though i don't really know her but i admire her as a beautiful young lady who can express herself beautifully with words. She jumped down from 11th storey. She's still so young, 20 years of age.

I really feel something, something which i don't know how to express with words. It must have taken her alot of courage to jump off from 11th storey. She must have felt very bad at that time so she would thought of jumping off the building. How many ppl would have the courage to jump off from 11th storey? Unless you knows that the world is ending tomorrow maybe you'll jump.

my deep condolence to her family....

2005-05-25T06:48:00.000+08:00

JUST WHEN I HAD FINISHED TYPING A SUPER LONG POST AND SUBMITED. STARHUB MAXONLINE IS DOWN AND EVERYTHING IS GONE.

2005-05-08T05:57:00.000+08:00

Just got back home from Mr Bean's cafe. Ya supper session la, think my dieting plan will nv be effective with all these supper sessions!! But the pork chop is good! I chose the nicest food among all of us!

Anyway today was a real mad house at work with a birthday girl and a birthday boy there. Bryan and Lynn. Think nowadays ppl like to give ppl a cake as a birthday gift eh? Lynn got 4 cakes in total :/ I had cake till i feel like vomiting! Ya la i was one of them to give her a cake because i was given the mission to buy a cake but who knows the other of them also bought her a cake. But it is a enjoyable day la, i bet lynn's really happy today with so many ppl ard to celebrate her birthday with her and the first time in her life to have so many birthday cakes lol.

Tml's Sunny's son first month anniversary and he's having a buffet session at our place. So i gotta be there quite early. And i gotta wake up earlier tml, needa get a gift for Xavier, Sunny's son. Tml will be a long day, because i got mj session after work lol.

Oh ya, my 7610 is down again!! It's with Nokia Care Center now. Freaking hell, the phone died on me the other time and this time the other party can't hear me when i'm talking! But luckily Des lent me his phone, so i'm using a Sony Ericsson now which i really don't know how to use.

Sleeping time.

2005-05-05T06:16:00.000+08:00

It's basically my daily routine to work - knock off - mahjong / number ball / go JB - breakfast - sleep - work. This is bad. My life starts only after i knock off! Which is left with limited stuffs to do and basically all this activities only requires me to spend and spend and spend! Especially when we go for number ball session, everybody got so hooked on to the jackpot and horse racing machine that they've all spend a bomb on the machine. But i don't like to play that, because i know it's a 99% sure lose haha.

I just woke up actually, slept at 11pm the moment i reached home yesterday. Was just too shack to do anything else lol. I'm going to JB in 4 hrs time, yes, it's shopping session! The guys will be coming to fetch me at 10am. Supposed to have my driving lesson today but i decided to call my instructor and come up with some cock excuse but i already paid for my circuit, so i gotta forgo my $18 bucks. I gotta jaga abit for this mth i know i'll be short of money before the mth ends! Next mth will be worst, gotta pay for my driving test and my insurance! Anyone who wants to donate some money to me can ask me for my account number lol.

2005-05-05T06:15:00.000+08:00

I got hooked on playing number balls.

2005-05-05T06:13:00.001+08:00

... and she the horse racing machine

2005-05-05T06:13:00.000+08:00

He got hooked on the jackpot machine.....

Call me the cab queen!

2005-04-29T00:19:00.000+08:00

When i was on the cab just now i was recalling when was the last time i took a public transport and the answer is i don't know. I can't remember when was the last time i took a bus or mrt. But i know the last time i took a bus to work was actually nov 2004, i've been working there for 6 mths (minus away the other 6 mths when i was a part-timer) but i think the number of times i took a bus to work is less then 5 times. Call me a lazy bummer pls. I'm a cab queen! I think the reason why i am unable to save up money is because i spend alot of money on cab every mth lol. But i just took up a savings policy so i could at least save some money.

When i was talking to peg just now she asked me if i'm given a choice would i want to love X again? I said yes, because he's the one who gave me the sweetest and most bitter memories in my life so far. I wouldn't regret falling in love with him because i want to keep those sweet memories, and there's nth to regret about in love. You gain happiness and bitterness in every relationship. I was telling P, although Z and her got a bad ending but she don't need to feel remorseful about it. If Z doesn't come into her life she wouldn't be what she will be now. She won't have her 2 adorable daughters, she won't become the P i know now. Oh ya, it's not that my dear P got ditched, she didn't get ditched by Z! Ok so i was telling her, it's just a phrase of life for her, it's a learning experience although she paid a big price for this experience but she did gain happiness from Z before too.

I'm on MC today, got food poisoning! Man, i don't even know what caused my food poisoning! Having the runs for 3 days already and my arse was probably swollen! It's in a pain! Doc gave me 2 days mc but i'm going back to work tomorrow, can't leave them in a lurch during weekend eh? When i told peg i've got the runs that day she specially went to buy some pills for me and passed it to me. aw.. how sweet can my darling be? I love you babe.

2005-04-23T04:59:00.000+08:00

It's a very bad day at work. What's worse then having to see your boss sulking all night long when you're working. Sulk for nothing. Sulk for who the hell knows the reason. I hate it when she always throw her missy temper for no reason and "ping ping piang piang" all the way. I'm so sick of her, sick of her thinking that she's got a bf to pamper her now and so she could throw her missy temper around. Sick of her flaring up at me even for the slightest thing i've done or even sometimes when i didn't do anything. Sick of her pointing fingers at me when anything happened. Sick of having so much responsibilities at work.

Why must i swallow everything inside my stomach when i'm not happy with her, with work, with colleagues? Why must i suffer in agony? Why am i not recognized for the hard work i've put in? Why doesn't i know how to sweet talk and boot lick? Why am i always the one whom she will speak to when anything happen?

Before she got this bf, she wasn't like this! She don't throw her missy temper, she put in more heart for her work. Now she keeps forgetting this forgetting that, sometimes forgotten to buy stuffs or order liquer from the supplier. How is the business going to continue this way? What's worse, she sometimes blame me for not buying and ordering the liquers. Wtf? I always tell her whenever i know that stocks are running low and i even made and effort to write what we need on a piece of paper and leave it at the counter for her when she comes! And she mean this is my fault for not replenishing the stocks? She will never forget to replenish any stocks before she was attached to this guy. Not only i notice that, one of my colleagues even told her about it!

Aiya whatever it is la. She's the boss, no matter how missy she is i still got to tolerate with her. I will just stay there until one day i can't stand it no more. I hope that would be next year then. Why would i want to waste my end of the year bonus away? I work for money, not for her :)

2005-04-21T15:32:00.000+08:00

I think i still miss him? I don't really know it myself too. But i just don't feel right when someone mentions about him. I'm not sure whether it's still called love but for one thing i'm very sure, i still misses him. Why would i want to hold on to the past when i myself knows it better then anyone else that he's not any good catch? Love? lol love is hillarious at times.

I'm feeling lonely, very lonely inside me. Lonely because no one can replace him in my heart for now. I'm just trying to hehehaha my days away and act like i don't really care and there's nothing great bout him. But in fact he's really great, great in a way that he had made me a loser.

2005-04-15T04:55:00.000+08:00

I brought my friends to my kampong that day 7 of us. Supposed to be 10 and more la. But in the end most of them cannot make it so the 7 of us went together. Des, Heng, Andy, Charmaine, Kelly, Lynn and ME! Of coz, We had a enjoyable day and good food over there haha. All of us are like half dead towards the noon man. We all went there without sleep! And we slept like a dead log on our way back, all the gals without their demure image. They all like my place, they said it's nice to live here with a seaview. But to me, it's just another polluted beach haha.

2005-04-15T04:41:00.000+08:00

The 3 beautiful hairy legs!